Sounds like my kind of doctor

A friend of mine sent me this and I don’t know just how true it is or if this doctor even exists but he sure sounds like my kind of doctor!!

His practice has no room for new patients! Now, he’s a medical wizard! I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy? HELLO …. Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND…..For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION…..Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

What a week

We buried Papa Charlie on the 7th. I had no idea that he was a Korean war veteran but he was. They draped a flag over his coffin and did the 21 gun salute to him too. The children are heart broken. It’s the first time they have really had to deal with death now that they are old enough to really understand. The first time was when the baby I had that died 4 years ago and that was a tough one too.

On the 8th I got a phone call from Papa Charlies lawyer. He asked me to come in for the reading of the will. I was totally confused because why would I have to be there? I had only known the man for a couple months. When I got there, I was the only one there other than the lawyer. I didn’t know that Papa Charlie didn’t have any other family at all. We were all he had.

Then the lawyer read the will. I almost went into shock. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Papa Charlie was sort of a wealthy man and left everything to my children and me. He had college funds set up for each of my children. He gave us his house and set up enough money in a trust fund to pay the taxes, homeowners insurance and anything that needed fixing for the rest of my life. Then the house goes to the kids and would be sold and divided between all of them.

He also set up a college fund for me so I could quit work and go to college and be able to take care of myself and the children. I was to get a monthly ‘allowence’ also to cover food, utilities and anything else that we needed. I’m still trying to let all of this soak in. All of this from a gentle, kind man that we only knew for a few months. I feel so honored. God Bless you Charlie Benson!!!!

Help your local animal shelter

This time of year there are always a lot of kittens and puppies at the shelter, but there are also a lot of adult cats and dogs being surrendered by owners and many are abandoned or dropped off because of the economy. People are being evicted and having their homes foreclosed and have no way to take care of the pets any more.

This really bothers me – I just don’t see how anyone in good conscience can abandon a pet. What kind of person leaves an animal locked in an empty house and drives off? What kind of person can drive down a road and just toss kittens out of the window into a stranger’s driveway? People who do that and people who beat their dogs or otherwise abuse their animals should be arrested and put into jail.

If you have a shelter in your community, next time you have the urge to take on a pet, I hope you will go to the shelter and adopt an animal from the shelter. And if you have anything you can donate to the shelter, here’s a list of desired items that can be dropped off and will be put into good use:

  • Clean, old newspapers to be used for litter and lining cages
  • Toilet seat covers (cats love to lie on them in their cages)
  • Any type of cat or dog toy (plastic or washable)
  • Old bath towels and blankets
  • Canned cat food, any brand
  • Bagged, dry dog food (particularly desired is Science Diet but other brands accepted)
  • Laundry soap
  • Bleach
  • Heavy ceramic food and water bowls
  • Antibacterial hand soap
  • Candles – citrus or spice
  • Paper towels

Shelters also need volunteers to come and walk dogs and play with the animals for short periods to give them exercise and socialization skills. If you have a good heart, please help the animals in your local shelter.

Kitchen Magic

I love to cook and creating Kitchen Magic is something my family appreciates. I get tired of eating the same foods all the time, therefore I try to mix it up as much as I can. I try new recipes all the time. Most of the time they work amazingly great. Sometimes however, it is something we just didn’t like even though it came out perfectly. On those days we either choke it down, or end up ordering out. It doesn’t happen often though.

I tried a new breakfast casserole recipe a couple of weeks ago and they absolutely loved it. The Kitchen Magic was definitely their that day. I had to prep it the night before and let it sit in the fridge over night, which was great because all I had to do was pop it into the oven the next morning.  I think I will make it again next weekend as well.

I love Chinese food

I went to the China Star for lunch and bought dinner at lunch prices. This way we could all eat Chinese without spending too much money. The lunch special is only $4.95 per person and comes with fried rice, one egg roll and a free soda. The kids really don’t eat all of a lunch special let alone a dinner plate from there so it works out for me and everyone gets to pick whatever they want. You can’t beat that with a stick.