When I was young, I remember my mother trying to encourage me to write with my right hand. This was hard for her to do, since she was left-handed, and I wanted to be just like her! I actually have become ambidextrous, which is great, but I have developed a true empathy for “lefties” in a “right-hander’s world.” Taking notes, for example is a challenge because the notebook’s binder is on the left side, which becomes an obstruction to writing!
When Charlie told me about how he was trying to find a left handed guitar store to be able to buy a guitar for his son Jake, I offered to try to help him find one. Thank goodness for the Internet! Googling “left handed guitars” under their “shopping” tab brought up several places to check out.
I get them every year, those darn Christmas blues, but this year it seems worse than others. I want so much for my children and I don’t just mean ‘stuff’. I want a real home. I want a real family life. I want a real chance to be a better Mom than I have been.
Why is it that this time of year I go through this? I guess it’s because we look into the eyes of these innocent children and see the wonder of life and Christmas glowing in them. Then we go look in the mirror and see the disenchantment in our own eyes knowing that the world is not a box of cherries. I don’t know about you but I long for that love and innocence again and want it to stay in my children’s eyes.
I know that a time will come when they don’t believe in Santa anymore or the magic of Christmas but I just don’t want them to look through the eyes of disenchantment at me ever. I want them to always see the wonder of a world of possibilities for them.
Surprise after dinner. Dinner was nice last night. The kids pigged out on pizza and pasta and I did too but I did eat some salad just for good measure. Charlie of course paid for everything even though I came prepared to pay for our dinner.
Oh the surprise, well he had some really neat costumes for the kids. My little angel is going to be Tinker Bell while my oldest is Captain Jack Sparrow and my little hand full, well he’s a little stinker so he’s going as a skunk!! I loved the costumes and so did the kids. I know Charlie paid a small fortune for the costumes because they weren’t the cheap kind you get at most department stores. There were more like the costumes you get from a costume store. The kids are going to have a blast Halloween night. Oh yeah,
Well the first week of school is over and the kids have a 3 day weekend. They were all happy with the teachers they got and the friends that they had in their rooms. Only one of them came home mad. That was my youngest son, the angry child anyway. He’s the one that always finds something to complain about. His major complaint……….the sun comes in his room after lunch and is right in his eyes. Guess he had to find something to gripe about. Oh well, such is life in my house with me and my three.
I came across a youtube video with Ted Nugent talking about gun control. These are very powerful words he uses and I have to admit I agree with him. I have children to protect and protect them I will. Here’s my hat off to Ted Nugent.
We have dinner on our deck more than in the house. I came across some outdoor pillows that the kids can have to lay on the benches and be comfortable too. I have caught them asleep on the deck and had to bring them in so they didn’t get sun burned too because they are so comfortable.
We buried Papa Charlie on the 7th. I had no idea that he was a Korean war veteran but he was. They draped a flag over his coffin and did the 21 gun salute to him too. The children are heart broken. It’s the first time they have really had to deal with death now that they are old enough to really understand. The first time was when the baby I had that died 4 years ago and that was a tough one too.
On the 8th I got a phone call from Papa Charlies lawyer. He asked me to come in for the reading of the will. I was totally confused because why would I have to be there? I had only known the man for a couple months. When I got there, I was the only one there other than the lawyer. I didn’t know that Papa Charlie didn’t have any other family at all. We were all he had.
Then the lawyer read the will. I almost went into shock. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Papa Charlie was sort of a wealthy man and left everything to my children and me. He had college funds set up for each of my children. He gave us his house and set up enough money in a trust fund to pay the taxes, homeowners insurance and anything that needed fixing for the rest of my life. Then the house goes to the kids and would be sold and divided between all of them.
He also set up a college fund for me so I could quit work and go to college and be able to take care of myself and the children. I was to get a monthly ‘allowence’ also to cover food, utilities and anything else that we needed. I’m still trying to let all of this soak in. All of this from a gentle, kind man that we only knew for a few months. I feel so honored. God Bless you Charlie Benson!!!!
I just got a phone call from the hospital. It seems that Papa Charlie is in the hospital. I didn’t know he was sick at all. He never let on that there was anything wrong with him at all. He was always so happy. He has cancer. He’s dying and we never knew.
The children are all so upset because they know that without Papa Charlie, this Christmas wouldn’t have been nearly as good and I don’t mean just the presents. Papa Charlie brought joy to Christmas with him. He brought life to Christmas and the whole time, he was losing his own. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.
I hope and pray that he will get better and come home again. I hope and pray that if he doesn’t, at least maybe we gave him what he gave us for Christmas and that was family and joy. Prayer helps and I will be on my knees praying for Papa Charlie with my children beside me.
The children and I always go to my mothers on Christmas eve for dinner and to open presents there. It’s the day my children have looked forward to since Thanksgiving. Santa comes tonight and they are all excited to see what is in their presents and what Santa has brought.
This year, Charlie, their adopted grandpa will join us at my mothers. He has been a blessing to us. He tells me that we have been more of a blessing to him than he could ever be to us because through us, we have given him Christmas back. That’s a wonderful thing for him to say. He is spoiling the kids something awful but that’s part of what Christmas is for, spoiling the children.
It’s also a day to reflect on what the season is really for. We always have a birthday cake for Christmas day so we can celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. I want them to always know that Christmas is not just about toys and stuff. It’s about salvation. Salvation of our soul and salvation of our lives that we live today. Does that make any sense to you? I hope so. Because that’s my Christmas wish for each of you that has visited my blog, the joy and wonder of the birth of Jesus Christ and a joy filled Christmas.
I know so many people that keep telling me they’re finished with all of their Christmas shopping. How can that be? I’m not even half finished yet. I know that Christmas is just around the corner but it’s kind of hard to go shopping when you have to work the stupid hours I do and then try and get away from the kids too. Well it’s next to impossible.
I got the Wii for them and a couple other little things but I need a boys bicycle, a girls bicycle and a skateboard too. Then there’s helmets for all three and knee and elbow pads to go with the skateboard. There just aren’t enough hours in a day or dollars in my purse either!! I’ll just be glad when it’s all over.
Bah-Humbug, HUH? I’m sorry!! I’m just stressed and really tired. I need a long winters nap. How about you wake me when it’s over, does that sound better?