Christmas Blues

I get them every year, those darn Christmas blues, but this year it seems worse than others.  I want so much for my children and I don’t just mean ‘stuff’.  I want a real home.  I want a real family life.  I want a real chance to be a better Mom than I have been.

Why is it that this time of year I go through this?  I guess it’s because we look into the eyes of these innocent children and see the wonder of life and Christmas glowing in them. Then we go look in the mirror and see the disenchantment in our own eyes knowing that the world is not a box of cherries. I don’t know about you but I long for that love and innocence again and want it to stay in my children’s eyes.

I know that a time will come when they don’t believe in Santa anymore or the magic of Christmas but I just don’t want them to look through the eyes of disenchantment at me ever.  I want them to always see the wonder of a world of possibilities for them.

This might surprise you about me

I came across a youtube video with Ted Nugent talking about gun control. These are very powerful words he uses and I have to admit I agree with him. I have children to protect and protect them I will. Here’s my hat off to Ted Nugent.

Happy Valentines Day

valentines day (free clip art)
valentines day (free clip art)

Well I have learned something else. I have to do this for ME and not for my children. My children will benefit from it as much if not more than I will. Today is Valentines Day. The day you show your loved ones that you love them. Well of course I got my children valentines cards and candy but I also bought myself some flowers to she myself that I am loved too.

You know what? It actually felt good to buy myself something like flowers. I look at them and picture myself as one of the buds on them. A bud is nothing but a green object and you have no idea of the beauty that will come from within. Right now I’m a bud. Once I work a little more, I’ll begin to open up and start showing the beautiful flower within. I don’t know if I’m a dandelion or a rose yet but in time, I will. Even a weed can produce a beautiful flower and right now, I feel more like a weed than a rose bush but even something as beautiful as a rose has thorns.

What a week

We buried Papa Charlie on the 7th. I had no idea that he was a Korean war veteran but he was. They draped a flag over his coffin and did the 21 gun salute to him too. The children are heart broken. It’s the first time they have really had to deal with death now that they are old enough to really understand. The first time was when the baby I had that died 4 years ago and that was a tough one too.

On the 8th I got a phone call from Papa Charlies lawyer. He asked me to come in for the reading of the will. I was totally confused because why would I have to be there? I had only known the man for a couple months. When I got there, I was the only one there other than the lawyer. I didn’t know that Papa Charlie didn’t have any other family at all. We were all he had.

Then the lawyer read the will. I almost went into shock. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Papa Charlie was sort of a wealthy man and left everything to my children and me. He had college funds set up for each of my children. He gave us his house and set up enough money in a trust fund to pay the taxes, homeowners insurance and anything that needed fixing for the rest of my life. Then the house goes to the kids and would be sold and divided between all of them.

He also set up a college fund for me so I could quit work and go to college and be able to take care of myself and the children. I was to get a monthly ‘allowence’ also to cover food, utilities and anything else that we needed. I’m still trying to let all of this soak in. All of this from a gentle, kind man that we only knew for a few months. I feel so honored. God Bless you Charlie Benson!!!!

Veterans Day

I’m not that close to my family and am not sure how many people within my family have served in the military but today is the day to honor those that are veterans. There’s a local steak house that gives a free meal to all veterans that come in. It’s amazing to see the range of ages of these that served.

In this time of two wars, it’s easy to thank a veteran but there aren’t many left from WWII. I hope they know how much our country appreciated them. They fought one of the worst wars our country was ever in. They fought for people around the world that couldn’t fight for themselves, the Jews.

Let’s all make sure to thank a veteran today. If you don’t know one personally, it doesn’t matter, find one. Just look on their cars and you’ll see a Marine Corps sticker or maybe a ‘Retired Army’ sticker. Go up and tell them ‘Thank you for what you did for me and my family’ and shake their hand. They deserve to stand tall today and every day.

My children wanted me to put this picture on to honor the soldiers so this is from my children.

Well I checked him out

I found a web site that tells you if there is a child molester in what ever radius you choose. There was no Charlie Benson listed which was a relief to me. I even looked up the number he gave me and it is registered to a Charles Benson so I think he’s okay so far.

Then I found a web site that lets you check criminal records. Again, no Charlie Benson. This seems so far to be just a nice older man who is lonely and wants a family to love. I’m going to take it slow and easy and see if I can learn more so I can really make sure my kids are safe with him. You just can’t be too careful these days with yourself and especially your children.

Time to find a pumpkin

jack-o-lantern (free clip art)
jack-o-lantern (free clip art)
Today the kids and I went to a local pumpkin patch to find the perfect pumpkin to make a Jack-o- lantern from.  We found it and the darn thing cost $25 dollars. Needless to say, I couldn’t afford it. As we were walking away with one screaming and crying “I want THAT pumpkin” and the other two with long faces, a kind older man heard what was going on.

As I was getting everyone in the car, someone tapped me on my shoulder. It was the gentleman that had been near enough us to hear the children cry and me say “I just can’t afford $25 for a pumpkin.”  There he stood with that pumpkin in his hands saying “Here, this pumpkin really needed to go home with your kids. It was crying when you left it so I had to get it for the kids so they all could be happy.” My children started hooting and hollering and each one gave the kind man a big hug and said thank you.

There I stood with tears in my eyes. This kind soul was my guardian angel at that moment and I could plainly see it in his eyes. I gave him a hug and told him that he had no idea how much I appreciated his selfless kindness. He told me his name was Charlie Benson, gave me his phone number and told me that if I needed anything to help with the children for Christmas, to please let him know. He didn’t have any family to spoil and would love to adopt my children as his grandchildren if that was okay. He then asked if he could call from time to time to just speak with them and hear how their day or week had been.

I’m a bit nervous about giving him my number and I hate to say it but I will check him out before I allow him to be much of a part of my children’s lives. You can’t be too careful in this day in time but my heart tells me he is what he appears to be, just a kind old man with no one who wants to help. I sure hope so because my children would love to have a ‘Grandpa’ to spoil them all.

Everyone loves music

Everyone loves music, but children are especially drawn to it. They love to dance and sing and do it often and loudly. If you have children, you already know this. They start with the lullabyes we sing them and move on to the preschool songs we play them and that they hear on preschool TV shows like Jacks Big Music show and the Wiggles are excellent examples.

Encouraging music in your children will help them developmentally. Children who play and sing regularly are more inclined to do better in school. They read better, are better at math and science and generally get along better with other children. They are much more likely to go to college as well.

As a parent we begin teaching our children long before they ever reach a classroom. We teach them their first language and many times their second one as well in multilingual households.  Giving them a wide variety of musical genres is great for them. Whether you are playing music in the car or as you clean your house, they watch, listen and learn from everything you do. Having them take music classes at some point in their childhood is a phenomenal way to assure that they will be successful in life as musically oriented children tend to make better life choices later on.

When you choose and instrument for your child, take them to a music store with instructors and let the kids play with a few instruments to see what they like the most. This will let you know exactly where their interests lie and just what they can actually handle at their given age. There are certain instruments that will be too heavy for them, or for their small hands to handle. Also, there are a lot of instruments that have “child size” for those little guys to actually be able to learn on and play with proficiency. Violins are a perfect example of that. They come in really small sizes that are perfect for little fingers to play.

The violin is not easy to learn though. At least not as easy as learning the guitar, because drawing the bow across the strings is more difficult than plucking or strumming the strings is. Piano is a common instrument for children to begin learning to play, however if you don’t have one at home and can’t afford to buy one for them to practice on, you probably should choose something else. Learning to play an instrument requires lots and LOTS of practice.

Most schools have music class and usually the children learn how to play the recorder at some point, but it is not the same as private lessons. They do not get the one on one attention in a school classroom as they do from a private instructor. Add to that the music teachers in the school do not teach a variety of instruments either. It is very basic and only teaches them about music in general. Bear this in mind when you make your decision on whether or not to have them take lessons.

 

Raising kids is not easy

In today’s world, raising children can be daunting. How do you give the a good moral compass, when there are so many outside influences to corrupt what you teach them? I have taken the honesty approach with my kids. I talk to them about everything. Doesn’t matter if it is sex, drugs, violence, etc… I even talk to them about politics and world events.

I think it helps that I treat them as adults when it comes to our talks. I don’t talk down to them, but I let them know that there are really bad things they can get into trouble for if they are not careful. Certain stuff may seem innocuous, but it isn’t. I totally recommend talking to your kids as if you were talking to a friend and not a child. They are smarter then you think…

Sad day

I don’t usually write about stuff that is on the news, but today I have to. Today so many children died in a shooting at an elementary school, as well as several adults who were trying desperately to save those children. My heart goes out to the parents and families who have been devastated by this tragedy. I cannot imagine what it is like to have to bury your child and I hope that I never find out. I know that it has to be the hardest thing anyone ever has to do. For these families, this holiday season should have been exciting and fun, but now will never be the same again. Those children were still babies, just little kinder gardeners. When my little guys got home, all I could do was hold them and cry. I cried for the children and for the mothers who’s arms are now empty. I can only pray that God holds them in his loving embrace and comforts them while they grieve over this tragic loss.

Prayers
Thoughts and Prayers