Category: entertainment

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Sorry blonds, I just couldn’t resist!!

I just heard the funniest blond joke I’ve heard in a long time and had to share it with you.  I don’t know why they pick on blonds like they do because I know some very intelligent blonds and some brunettes that are dingy so  I guess it could be any color of hair but the joke is still funny!!

Blond and this could be me ..because I think it could really work!!!

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully, get out of the car and open the trunk. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.

They look so lifelike you wouldn’t believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers..

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulls up behind me. He gets out of his car and starts walking toward me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him, “Hellooooo, those are my emergency flashers!”

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My friend is so very into this game

I have a friend that is so very into this game called world of warcraft battle chest that it’s his main form of entertainment.  I personally don’t get into games but he sure does.  In fact, he’s always playing battle chest it seems.  To each his own I guess.  But he’s been looking for a wow cdkey and I found where he can get one online a lot cheaper than he’s been able to find.  Now I am his new best friend.

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Speaking of security

Since we are talking of security, I had suggested Mom get a dog for protection.  Well I got some pictures of some poodles that were in an ‘Extreme Grooming’ contest.  After seeing these, I’m not so sure they would provide much security other than making the intruder laugh and therefore incapacitating them until the police could get there.  See what I mean?

cock-a-poodle-dopeacock-poodle

But now these two might provide some securtiy, don’t you think?  Maybe not!

ninja-turtle-poodlebuffalo-poodle

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I just couldn’t resist!!!

I heard the cutest joke yesterday.  Now before I put it in this post, let me explain that I have a family member that is a Priest so please no hateful comments, deal?  Anyway with that said, here it is:

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.                                                              The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, ‘I am a Father.’

The little boy replied, ‘My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.’

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ”I am the Father of many.’

The boy said, ”My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way!’

The priest, getting impatient, said ‘I am the Father of hundreds’, and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,                                                                                                                              ‘Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.’

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Some helpful hints for you

My mother told me that the US Postal service sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep yellow-jackets away. I use it when I am working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets just veer around you.

1. All this time you’ve just been putting Bounce in the dryer! It will chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them. It also repels mice.

2. Spread sheets around foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are sitting and it keeps mice from entering your vehicle.

3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums that don’t get opened too often.

4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

5. Eliminate static electricity from your television (or computer) screen.

6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a sheet of Bounce.

8. To freshen the air in your home – Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the e closet.

9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

12. To freshen the air in your car – Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti static agent apparently weakens the bond between the food and the pan.

14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back pocket to keep the bees away.

21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling fresh.

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Camping when we were young

When we were younger, we took our camper and decide to camp on Assateague Island in Virginia. The fishing was great and my Daddy and us had a blast. Mom, my sisters and I had a great time at Ocean City Maryland shopping. The first night we spent on the island, we thought we heard something but didn’t really pay it any attention. Well the next morning, there was horse droppings here and there and also hove prints too.

I knew there were ponies on Chincoteague but didn’t realize they were on Assateague too. That was one of the reasons for going camping there when we did; we wanted to watch the pony roundup. It totally amazed all of us watching them swim the ponies across the Chesapeake Bay. If you haven’t ever seen the roundup, you have got to try and at least watch it on TV or possibly go to Chincoteague yourself and see this amazing display of humans taking care of local wildlife.

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I might not seem like this type but…

You might be surprised to find out that I absolutely love shooting paintball.  I might not seem like the type but I thoroughly enjoy it.  I was just looking at paint ball scopes so I can eliminate my friends better.  My father used to take me to a gun range and taught me how to shoot when I was young and I guess this is just an extension of that.  At least with this, you don’t really hurt anyone unless they don’t wear the proper safety gear and then they might get hurt but all of my friends and I always wear the proper safety gear.  It’s very important because if you accidentally hurt someone, that sure will take away from the fun.

A friend of mine suggested I check out Choicepaintballguns.com when I was looking for a new paint ball gun.  Paintball guns aren’t the only things they have either.   They have a wide variety of products associated with shooting paintball.  You can get the paint balls, all kinds of guns, scopes, the co2 cartridges that you need to propel the paint balls and even carrying cases for your paintball gun.  The prices are great too.  I have never heard of anyone I know of complaining that they didn’t get good service from their web site either so that’s a huge plus, don’t you think?

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Didn’t Barbi just turn 50?

Didn’t I see that the doll Barbi just turned 50?  Well she has aged way too good.  To celebrate, they need to make a new Barbi.  A friend of mine sent me this picture and I thought it was perfect and just had to share.

It is about time this happened to her….

fat-barbi

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I hear the birds singing

The birds are everywhere again and singing their wonderful springtime songs.  I love sitting at my window watching all of the different types of birds eating out of my bird feeders.  It’s amazing just how many different types of birds come to share a meal.  You have to watch the darn squirrels too or they will figure out a way to climb up my pole and shake all of the food out for themselves.  I have a squirrel feeder on a tree.  It has a screw on it that you take a corn cob and screw down on it for them to eat but they want the bird food too.  Oh well, such is life and do love to see all of the springtime critters out my window.

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What a phenomenal woman

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday…Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was ‘exciting.’

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist first. The audience laughed so hard, they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

‘I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow only if you want it to be.’

‘I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things:weather, respect and lost luggage.’

‘I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. It is then you realize that no one can ever love and care for you more than they do. And that no one can ever replace them. I wish they were with me now!

‘I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.”

‘I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. So don’t make the same mistakes again.’

‘I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.’

‘I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.’

‘I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.’

‘I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.’

‘I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.’

‘I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel , especially your loved ones.’