I wonder how many years have to go by before I stop thinking about my first love – now my ex – and special days like his birthday and senior prom and those special dates that are a big part of my history and life? I don’t really want to think of him on his birthday anymore. We broke up 3 years ago. But here it is November 20 and I know that it is his birthday. I wonder who is he celebrated his birthday with? What are they doing tonight? What gift did she buy for him? And I know I shouldn’t care and it sounds like I am jealous – but I’m not jealous. Just curious.
Not particularly wanting to be wishing the ex a Happy Birthday. I am certainly not going to call him and say that. But I am curious and don’t really like it that I am curious. I should not care enough to even think of him at all. But I can’t help it. I guess it is hard to give up all those dreams and plans and that we made and realize that they won’t be happening with him. And probably not even with someone else. I’ve moved on to a different path and my dreams have changed, too. I just wish I didn’t think about him on the days that were special to us. Does that make any sense?