Sometimes when I am on the computer for several hours at a time, I like to listen to streaming audio over the internet. A friends told me a bout a web site called Pandora. It’s free for about 40 hours worth of listening each month. After 40 hours you have to pay them a fee or find another way to listen to music while you work. For my work habits, I can use up that 40 hours pretty quick, so I have other sites I can use. But I do like the way Pandora works for the first week or so of each month.
Monk Reruns
Stayed up very late and had the TV on Channel 5 – CBS – for mindless entertainment while I tried to fall asleep. For some reason I just could not sleep. Too much on my mind, I guess. So about 3:00 am I watched a rerun of an early Monk show. It was pretty funny. Loved the cast of characters. The stories are a little trite but the interaction with the main character, Monk, is the point of the series anyway. He is a former police officer with acute psycho-socio disorders, like OCD and some Autism. But those social shortcomings are what he uses to solve the crimes. Interesting concept for a TV show.
In need of a warm vacation!!
Now even my wife is complaining about the weather. She usually likes fall but this year, summer seemed to slip right by us and we didn’t really have a summer like we usually do. Normally, we would take two or even three vacations though the summer but this year, I really don’t know what happened. She’s been talking about wanting to take one of the Sharm El Sheikh Holidays that she found online. I have to be honest, it sounds wonderful to me too. The question I have is about the weather?
I personally would love to check out Algarve Holidays in Portugal. I’m sure the weather there would be great since the southern hemisphere has spring when we have fall. Besides, we have already been to Egypt but never to Portugal. From what I have seen, it’s an absolutely beautiful place and why go somewhere you’ve already been? Why not try something new, like maybe one of the really nice Benidorm Holidays. We’ve never been there either. We’ll just have to take our time and find somewhere new to take a vacation. I just want to explore a new city or country, not one we’ve already been to, you know?
Official end of summer
Well it’s Labor Day and everyone looks at this three day weekend as the official end of summer. Really it doesn’t become Autumn for about two more weeks but this is probably for most people that have children, their last chance at a beach weekend. If you don’t have kids in school, then it doesn’t really matter, now does it?
I could see my wife doing this
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order. ‘ The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
‘Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. So, let’s head to the club and have a martini.’
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, ‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’
The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, ‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?’
‘Because I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, ‘Putting Your Affairs In Order.’
Bill and Sam
I thought this was just too cute not to share. I hope you enjoy it too.
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn’t show up. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and — lo and behold! –there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?’
Bill replied, ‘I have been in jail.’
‘Jail?’ cried Sam. ‘What in the world for?’
‘Well,’ Bill said, ‘you know Mary, that cute little blond waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?’
‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I remember her. What about her?’
‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled ‘guilty’ ‘The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury.
See I told you it was cute. I sure hope you got a laugh out of it because laughter is good for the soul!!!!
I have a surprise for my wife
Easter will be coming soon and when the children were all still living at home, we always planned a ‘spring break’ vacation. Since the children have moved out, we haven’t done that and she mentioned that she misses that the other day. Well I have a surprise for her for ‘spring break’. You can find some amazing prices for a cruise right now and I have found a great deal on a cruise for just the two of us. It will be sort of a second honeymoon too since our anniversary isn’t very far away either.
I’m a smart man and I know that if I am going to make this as special for her as I hope it will be, then I better let her help pick out the cruise!! Carnival cruise lines has some great cruises like to the Bahamas, or the Caribbean or even Hawaii but I think I’ll leave it all up to her as to which cruise we choose. Besides, it’s going to be fun picking out the perfect ‘spring break’ with my wonderful wife. She deserves so much better than I can give her but I thank God everyday that she chose to be my wife. I am a lucky man and I know it.
Michael Jackson
Well it seems that Michael Jackson is going on tour again. I grew up listening to him on the radio and have always thought he was one of the great talents of our country. It’s a shame he has had so many legal problems but none of them have been proven that he has done anything wrong. Can you imagine having to live in seclusion most of your life? I sure can’t. I’m sure that has something to do with some of his off behaviors (as some call it) but everyone is different.
Michale Jackson is and always will be the ‘King of Pop’ as far as I’m concerned. He is a musical genius and a master performer. You bet I would love to see him live onstage just once and I just might have to do that if at all possible since he’s saying this is his ‘final curtain call’.
On a less serious note
A friend of mine sent me this email and I have to admit, I laughed until I cried. I thought it was the funniest thing I have ever read but the funniest part is it’s supposed to be a true story. I don’t know if it is or not but I hope you enjoy it even half as much as I did. This is supposedly true and written by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary and submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5′ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…? I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘ don’t do it dip$hit,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I $hit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone.; I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nut$ and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Nick Nolte
Nick Nolte has long been one of my favorite actors. He has played in some of my favorite movies like 48 hours with Eddie Murphy. Sure he’s had has hard times but who hasn’t you know. I mean we all go through some tough times and not necessarily with drugs and alcohol like Nick has. But one thing stays constant and that’s his ability to act.
He was even named the “Sexiest man alive” by People Magazine in 1992. Not too bad huh? It was a great picture of him on the cover too. But then you see a mug shot of him looking anything but sexy and I can’t help but wonder why we want to desperately to shoot someone down, especially celebrities. They are people just like you and I. They put their pants on one leg at a time just like you and I. Sure they may pay more for their pants than we do but they earned that money with their acting ability just like we earn our money with what ever ability we have.
They entertain us, take us out of our lousy little existence sometimes and even through their art, give us inspiration to do better ourselves and still the media and us that are stupid enough to pay our hard earned money to buy the magazines and gossip papers that do all they can to bring them down. We’re contributing to it. Here’s a good example with Nick Nolte at the center.
“Nick Nolte, 67: Yeah, we were just as dumbfounded as you to realize that People declared Nick Nolte the Sexiest Man Alive in 1992, a year in which competition was apparently slimmer than Victoria Beckham in airtight Spanx. The actor, then 51 and coming off the success of “The Prince of Tides… more,” was called “sexy … very sexy!” by a dewy Christina Applegate, while the magazine enthused that he was a “big-lug Adonis with the heart of gold — sometimes known as the Bad Boy Reformed.” Except his bad boy days weren’t quite over. A decade after his Sexiest honor, Nolte was busted for DUI, which resulted in an epically unflattering, Hawaiian-shirt-and-electrified-hair mug shot that set the standard by which all celebrity police snaps are measured. He pleaded no contest and has continued to work steadily. And despite the occasional airport crash session and a tendency to dress like his homeless character from “Down and Out in Beverly Hills,” he’s still some one’s sexiest: Last year, at the age of 66, he welcomed a daughter with girlfriend Clytie Lane.”