Category: Musings

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Ballerina Dreams

I remember being a little girl and being in the parent waiting area with my mom while my sister took ballet lessons. We could watch through a big, one-way mirror to see what the class was doing. I loved to watch my sister’s teacher dance to show the students how they needed to do the different moves. She was so graceful and so disciplined. I wish I could have taken ballet lessons.

I have this weird thing about my joints. It is especially noticeable in my elbows. Everything bends out way more than other people’s joints. Because of this, which I was born with and can’t do anything about it, the dance teacher told my mom that I could never be a ballerina. The way my elbows let my arms over-extend is not attractive or graceful. In ballet, the arms are almost as important as the feet.

It was humiliating to be told I was too ugly to dance. That hurt my feelings and self esteem for a very long time. But my sister doesn’t have this same problem with her joints, and she took ballet lessons for many years. She was very good at it. I wonder if she ever thinks about that and has has happy memories about dancing?

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Bad Hair Good Hair

Every morning this week when I’ve woke up and started getting dressed, my hair has been a crapshoot as to whether it will be a good hair day or a bad hair day. I have not had two good hair days in a row for over 2 weeks. That makes me think I need to go see my stylist and get a new cut and style.

I used to have very long, dark hair. Fixing it each morning only took a couple of minutes, unless I wanted to do something fancy, like a French braid or a loose bun. I didn’t have to worry about getting many haircuts. Just once in awhile to deal with split ends. The worst thing about the long hair was the way the bathtub drain would get clogged up!

Now my hair is short and I have to see my stylist every 4-6 weeks. Sometimes I have to go twice the same month, which really wrecks my budget.

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Wrong Text

This morning I got a series of strange text messages on my cell phone. They started out being short ones, saying, “I love you” and “I can’t wait to see you again.” And I was freaked out because I didn’t recognize the phone number and I was not expecting anyone to say that to me. Maybe my mother! But not any guy or co-worker, for sure!

After about a dozen of the texts that I did not answer, I was getting annoyed that they kept coming every few minutes. For one thing, each text message received costs me 20 cents. And for another thing, the texts were never signed with a name nor addressed to a name, and they clearly were not meant for me.

It occurred to me that the person was texting them to the wrong number and might not stop until someone replied. I was sorely tempted to reply “F*** You!” and see what happened, but it might have been a guy stalking his girlfriend and if she was to actually say that then the stalker might escalate the interaction with something violent and the poor girl would not have any warning or any defense.

So I called the number and said this is Vicki and I have no idea who you are sending all these texts to, but I know you aren’t intending to send them to me, so check the damn number and quit sending me all these texts or I will report you to the police.” And I hung up – I didn’t even want to hear the other person’s voice. And they stopped.

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Monday is a Long Way from Friday

For some reason this Monday seems to be dragging on forever. I feel like its been three days of work, problems and interruptions all rolled into this one day. I hope the rest of the week is not like this. I don’t think I could bear it.

Is it just me? Or is everyone feeling a little stressed? Is it the time change to daylight saving time? Is it Easter coming? Is it all the pollen from the trees and grasses in Spring?

I don’t know, but usually I love Spring and Easter time, but right now I’m just anxious and worried and tired.

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Facebook Frustrations

This is the second year that I’ve had a Facebook account and I’m getting frustrated with it. I know most people like to complain about the changes being made to the program itself. They complain about the new looks and new features, saying that Facebook staffers are meddling with something that is already good. I think most of those people are just old fuddies who don’t like change – for the sake of not liking change.

But my frustration is from the people who are on there using it. When I started out with my account I had about 80 friends. These were people that I know in real life and most of what I said on Facebook was a close match to what I would say to these people to their face.

Somehow over the past two years my friends list has grown to almost 500 people and I have to admit that there are a lot of people on there that I do not know personally. They are more like friends of friends and maybe i will meet some of them one day.

But these people who are friends of friends can be a strange bunch of people. They spout off about all kinds of things that I do not agree with, on every subject from religion to politics to bashing celebrities. I worry that these people who say such extreme things might be reflecting on me, even though I do not agree with a lot of what they say. I am seriously considering deleting a lot of these people who are not really friends and who do not reflect my own values.

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A Peek into Our Police State

Have you seen the show, Person of Interest”? I think the story premise is frightening. When I watched the previews it was creepy, but I forced myself to watch it. And it was pretty much exactly what I thought it was, which is disturbing. It is pure, subtle propaganda for a police state. The idea is that two guys who care about the world are going after people before they commit a crime because they have special access to data. They are making it look ok and cool because they put their Hollywood spin on it. But imagine being intercepted by law enforcement because they think or assume that you are going to be involved in a crime – no evidence, no proof – just their personal assumption and some computer data from a questionable source. That is frightening to me.

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Charity Walk

They are having a walk-a-thon downtown this weekend and I am torn about participating. The charity that will benefit is all about helping the victims of sexual abuse. I would like to support an organization that helps primarily women and children. Walking in a walk-a-thon is something that I do three or four times a year. But the organizers are calling this a “Slut Walk.” Well, that offends me deeply. I don’t want a teeshirt that says I walked in a “Slut Walk.” I can’t understand why they picked such an offensive name. I want to help, but not with a name like that.

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Who Sang That?

It is getting harder and harder to hear a song on the radio and find out who sang that song. The vocalists and bands almost never get introduced by a live disc jockey anymore. In fact, I rarely hear a live disc jockey on any of the local radio stations.

What ever happened to having radio personalities? They were half the fun of listening to the radio. And I want to know the name of the artist and the title of each song when it is played. What is so hard about that?

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Its Better to Laugh Than to Cry

zanies

Some days I need an escape from all the drama. Spending ten bucks at the comedy club is a much better stress relief than taking prescription drugs for depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. It is always better to laugh than to cry. Trust me on this.

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Dogs and Humans

The vet was telling me t dogs are a lot like humans in the diseases they can get and the treatments they can do. Did you know that the number 1 killer of dogs is cancer? I did not know that. I would have guessed car accidents or euthanasia from the dog pound.

Dogs can get diabetes and bleeding disorders and other things just like humans. I try to make sure none of my dogs develop weight issues. I keep them on a good diet and they get a lot of exercise, so I hope to have healthy dogs for a long time to come.