Author: Machelle

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Well where’s the summer heat?

This has been the coolest summer that I can ever remember.  By now it’s usually hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk but this year we have had very few really hot days.  I’m not complaining now so don’t think that but it just surprises me.  Usually by this time of year, the temperature stays pretty much above 90 and a lot of temperatures above 95 but we have had some really nice days.

Hey, what happened to all of that global warming they were talking about.  Maybe now we’re on the verge of a new Ice Age!!!  It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they came up with that now.

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I love to read

I don’t just mean books either. Magazine subscriptions are what fill most of my reading needs. If it’s something I’m interested in, I have a subscription to a magazine that relates to what ever it is.  No I’m not one of those old ladies that only reads magazines about health or decorating or even cooking.

In fact, this is where I found my absolute favorite magazine.  “The Economist Magazine Subscription” is the best subscription I have ever gotten but that’s my opinion.  I have really learned a great deal about what’s going on in Washington and around the world as far as that’s concerned.  There’s some very interesting reading there.

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Security is so very important

I’m not a spring chicken anymore so security is very important to me.  That’s why I called ADT and had them to install a new home security system for me. There have been some break-in in the neighborhood and a lot of people know I live alone. Well I know I can sleep securely now for sure.

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Local kids need new glasses

There are several children around me in need of eyeglasses before school starts back.  I found $8 Rx eyeglasses and couldn’t believe my eyes.  It’s true because I saw Zenni Optical on TV!!! For that price, I can get several children new eyeglasses for school.   We have to help those in need so I say ‘High Five to Zenni Optical’ for making it possible.

glasses

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Words to live by!!!!

A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’ The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree..

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

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There must be something in the water!!

I told you about Rachel and Jayce getting engaged, well lightening has struck again with another of my waitresses.  She came in last night showing off her new engagement ring.  She said her fiance was looking at engagement rings before Rachel’s was but finally found the perfect one for her after Rachel got hers.

I had to explain that getting engaged was not a race and should not be treated as one.  I must admit she has an absolutely beautiful ring but the most important thing is that you love one another.  A beautiful engagement ring is just icing on the cake.

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I just thought this was funny

Now don’t anyone get in an uproar over this because anyone that knows me knows that I am not prejudice at all.  I just thought it was funny.  It could have said a Cajun and I still would have thought it was funny so have a laugh and that’s all, okay?

Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different parts of town. Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about eight or nine dollars a day. Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house, and has a lot of money to spend.

“Hey, amigo,” Carlos says to Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?”

Jose says,”Look at your sign, what does it say?” Carlos sign reads; “I have no work, a wife and six kids to support. What’s wrong with that?” Carlos asks him. “No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!”

Carlos says, “Alright, what does your sign say?” It reads, “I only need ten more dollars to get back to Mexico ..”

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This is one of my favorite places to shop

If you’re like me, you love to shop but hate to pay full price for anything you buy.  I keep looking until I can find the best possible prices on the items I find myself in need of or just happen to want at that time.  A lady has a right to just want something new from time to time, right?  Heck yeah I’m right.  Like yesterday, I was in my parlor and decided it was time for a new rug. Have you seen just how much a quality rug costs?  Well the price I found was one that made me so happy I had to celebrate.  You know how we are in New Orleans, we celebrate everything.

Well now if you’re going to have a celebration, that means you will need a new dress or two and some new jewelry to go with it. You can’t show up to a celebration in the same old thing you wore the last time you celebrated something, now can you?  Well you might be able to but I sure can’t. I found all sorts of stuff and also found more reasons to celebrate so how about that.  I’ll never buy from a local store again. I like online shopping.

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Are you one that frequents pawn shops?

I love pawn shops.  You can find some really great deals on stuff that people have pawned in need of money for one reason or another.  These days, that reason or another just might be that they lost their job and are trying to keep food in the house or just plain old keep their house.  I guess in sort of a round about way, pawn shops help people to survive.

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Perks of reaching my age

Yeah, you thought I was going to tell how old I was but that’s not going to happen.  Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh…..it is all true…Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size..

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.