The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.<\/p>\n
\u00a0And the winners are:<\/p>\n
\u00a01. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs<\/p>\n
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained<\/p>\n
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<\/p>\n
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk<\/p>\n
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.<\/p>\n
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown<\/p>\n
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp<\/p>\n
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash<\/p>\n
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.<\/p>\n
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline<\/p>\n
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam<\/p>\n
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists<\/p>\n
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist<\/p>\n
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms<\/p>\n
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there<\/p>\n
\u00a016. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. \u00a0And the winners are: \u00a01. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained 3. Abdicate, v. To give … <\/p>\n