{"id":247,"date":"2009-06-13T10:01:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-13T15:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/raymondwhiteside.com\/?p=247"},"modified":"2009-06-13T10:01:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-13T15:01:00","slug":"i-could-see-my-wife-doing-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/2009\/06\/13\/i-could-see-my-wife-doing-this\/","title":{"rendered":"I could see my wife doing this"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, &#8216;I&#8217;ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you&#8217;d best put your affairs in order. &#8216; The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don&#8217;t go so well.\u00a0 In this case, things aren&#8217;t well.\u00a0 I have cancer.\u00a0 So, let&#8217;s head to the club and have a martini.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.\u00a0 There were some laughs and more martinis.\u00a0 They were eventually approached by some of the woman&#8217;s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.<\/p>\n<p>The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end,\u00a0 &#8216;I&#8217;ve been diagnosed with AIDS.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The friend s were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.<\/p>\n<p>After the friends left, the woman&#8217;s daughter leaned over and whispered,\u00a0 &#8216;Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Because I don&#8217;t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I&#8217;m gone.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>And THAT, my friends, is what is called, &#8216;Putting Your Affairs In Order.&#8217;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, &#8216;I&#8217;ve got some bad news. You have cancer, and you&#8217;d best put your affairs in order. &#8216; The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. &#8216;Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/2009\/06\/13\/i-could-see-my-wife-doing-this\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;I could see my wife doing this&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,9,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-friends-family","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/raymondwhitfield\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}