{"id":725,"date":"2009-06-12T10:40:57","date_gmt":"2009-06-12T16:40:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rachelgreenlief.com\/?p=725"},"modified":"2009-06-12T10:40:57","modified_gmt":"2009-06-12T16:40:57","slug":"how-many-inches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/2009\/06\/12\/how-many-inches\/","title":{"rendered":"How many inches?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I almost fell out of my chair when I read this in an email.\u00a0 Nothing better for your soul than laughter so have a good laugh on this one!!<\/p>\n<p>A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, &#8216;Ah, I see you&#8217;ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won&#8217;t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You&#8217;re going to be okay, you&#8217;ll walk again and<br \/>\neverything, but&#8230;&#8230; something happened. I&#8217;m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The man groans, but the doctor goes on, &#8216;You&#8217;ve got $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did &#8211; better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn&#8217;t come cheap. It&#8217;s $1000 an inch.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The man perks up at this. &#8216;So,&#8217; the doctor says, &#8216;it&#8217;s for you to decide how many inches you want. But it&#8217;s something you&#8217;d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it&#8217;s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. &#8216;So,&#8217; says the doctor, &#8216;have you spoken with your wife?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;I have&#8217; says the man.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;And has she helped you in making the decision?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Yes, she has&#8217; says the man.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;And what is it?&#8217; asks the doctor.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re getting new counter tops.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I almost fell out of my chair when I read this in an email.\u00a0 Nothing better for your soul than laughter so have a good laugh on this one!! A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, &#8216;Ah, I see you&#8217;ve regained consciousness. Now, you &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/2009\/06\/12\/how-many-inches\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How many inches?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=725"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/725\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/rachelgreensleeves\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}