{"id":250,"date":"2015-06-04T09:59:26","date_gmt":"2015-06-04T13:59:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aliciadaniel.com\/?p=250"},"modified":"2015-06-04T09:59:26","modified_gmt":"2015-06-04T13:59:26","slug":"you-are-not-going-to-believe-this-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/2015\/06\/04\/you-are-not-going-to-believe-this-one\/","title":{"rendered":"You are not going to believe this one"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A friend of mine just showed me this and I loved it. I thought I would share it with you but be prepared to laugh!!!<\/p>\n<p>This is why I really like Savannah.<\/p>\n<p>Interesting Notice Found on Craig&#8217;s List Personals:<\/p>\n<p>To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM EST<\/p>\n<p>I was the guy with the black Barberry jacket that you demanded I hand over my wallet shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend&#8217;s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I&#8217;d like to apologize.<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn&#8217;t that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 45-A-CP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn&#8217;t it? I know it probably wasn&#8217;t a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you&#8217;d come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I&#8217;m sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn&#8217;t have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.<\/p>\n<p>I took the liberty of calling your mother, or &#8220;Momma&#8221; as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go&#8217;s, along with all of the cash in your wallet.<\/p>\n<p>I threw the wallet in a fancy pink &#8220;pimp mobile&#8221; parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They&#8217;ll be on your bill in case you&#8217;d like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I&#8217;ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don&#8217;t know what&#8217;s going on with that. I hope they haven&#8217;t permanently cut off your service.<\/p>\n<p>I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA&#8217;s office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really ticked and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I&#8217;m hoping that you&#8217;ll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.. &#8211; Alex<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Remember this motto&#8230;..an armed society is a polite society!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A friend of mine just showed me this and I loved it. I thought I would share it with you but be prepared to laugh!!! This is why I really like Savannah. Interesting Notice Found on Craig&#8217;s List Personals: To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/2015\/06\/04\/you-are-not-going-to-believe-this-one\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;You are not going to believe this one&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8,13,20],"tags":[63,178,263,523,576,640,774],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communitycharity","category-entertainment","category-governmentservice","category-life","tag-alicia-daniel","tag-cell-phone","tag-credit-card","tag-life-2","tag-motor-home","tag-people","tag-shoes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/worpal.com\/allysondaniel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}